owning a life path.

i grew up in a world where everyone shared-except me.
i broke the clay pots & let the extra food rot 
because it wasn't mine & it wasn't his or hers.
it was everyone's, and "ours" is just another word for "nobody's"
is what i always thought.

what we made.

the planets must have aligned 
when you thought everything was fine
because then i knew something had to be wrong.

not wrong. just not right. now. 

if it was wrong, i would have noticed it long before
& i wouldn't have cried making the appointment.

maybe you knew & that's why you
kept your back to me
when we slept. 

because you only wanted to hold me.

its better that you didn't 
because it wouldn't have been right
though i doubt it could feel your embrace
but no doubt it would be engulfed by your energy.

that's probably why i never felt it.
there was nothing foreign to my body.
because it wasn't part of a stranger, or some man 
i didn't truly love.

it was entirely me. 

and now that i know it's there
i can't stop feeling it.
and i can't leave it
or give it away.
i can't see it
or let it grow.
it has to go.
and i almost want to protect it at the same time. 
because it's you and it's me
in a place we've never been. 

and there's sunlight & simplicity-
draped in innocent cotton linen. 

simple.

a bed shone bright draped in white cotton linens
the sunlight melted-entwined with all the fibers. 

until it burned. burned. burned. 
like a simple dream almost realized. 

and the bed was withered with ashes & regret. 

tv smoke

you, young lady. are the most empty. 
emotionless.
young. 
person i have ever had the inconvenience to meet.

at least i was getting paid for it.
to watch your sad eyes-blinded by 
the flashes & your heavy make up.

you have nothing to cover up. 
you're too young for wrinkles-
& what you need to add to
is definitely not on your eye lids. 

the only sizzle i heard from you
were the pop rocks you were eating. 

off the clock.

turn the rusty gold knob but it won't open-
because the key has been brok e n 
inside the lock.

this was no accident,
as the caution tape would suggest.
but the culprit's gone missing,
& nobody is looking for them. 

because she told them she was leaving
to her surprise- they let her go.
(maybe they really do stand for honesty) 

there really isn't any need to go inside 
because all that's left is a white wall clock 
with the black numbers scratched out. 

you see- she'd rather use the sun. 
so when it rained for a week
she lost track of everything.

and didn't know when to go, 
but she may have left in a nick (le) of time
only the clock could tell. 

it doesn't click- like the lock.
there is no tock 
to be heard. 

just faint echos of her quiet being
waiting for the rain to stop
beating.