thanks for opening your window. it was getting hot in here.

i should have stopped
before
i started
because

i'm gettin dizzy from the poison in my veins
and now im feeling the lack of balance in my brain

then i look at your eyes. i feel a soft breeze. 
there's no smile on your face.
but somehow, all i want to do 
is laugh. 

but im telling myself, that's not what a normal person does 
(then i'm thinking to myself what gave me the idea i was a normal person?) 

i want you to keep me. but only if i can keep you too. 
but instead im lost in this angry rant that i don't even feel anymore.

pushing hard against nothing. why am i fighting?
there's probably a chemical sweat dripping down my face. 

& if i want to keep this up, i can't look up 
at you. 
but i do
anyway
& transition from crashing to calm
(im growing down for you.)
keeping both feet on the ground. 

then why can't i just stand to love you? 

because you're eyes make me want to smile. 
even when they're not.

and i'm not sure what hope looks like but 
i think that's the wind blowing through my hair.