words.

despite my apathy towards notes- i always listen to the words. try not to speak words that you don't believe. i've heard people say "fake it" until it means something to you, but i never took such advice. it might work for others- but not for me and i don't take kindly when that "technique" is used with me. how can i ever believe another word you say. i've learned through all the habitual usage & misplacement of this verb, that perhaps i don't believe in it either. thus i do not care to attempt to find it, or continue to wear it's mask in the presence of other's true faces. i would rather be alone to find it in myself because it's much too heavy on my expectations & they have been crushed. i apologize for anything i've written that has not be true for you, of course you've been kind enough to correct my blind errors. i had been edging closer to reality and glancing at it from the corner of my eye, it's time to turn my head and introduce myself. you do not have to understand, you do not have to do anything because everything i wished you had is lying in that rubble. the fault is only mine for speaking words that i don't believe in.